My head hurts, My stomach is in knots, and uncertainty fills My brain. But Im stuck, there are no other options right now. I have no choice but to accept things as they are, until things clear up, and choices can be made. It isnt as if I dont understand the choices, or the reasoning. But it will be hard.

Tonight was........strained. Tense. Confusing. I didnt want to be seen as some pushy guy. I hope I didnt. Im not like everyone else. I feel diffrently, act diffrently, and expect diffrent things. My expectations are simpler. It doesnt take much to please me, or keep Me happy. Just dont take My hope from me, or the little things which make My days go by quicker, or more peacefully.

I will take the offer given to Me. When it becomes availible. oppertunities knock but once, and this is a really good one. At the very least, I can save some money for another oppertunity. I hope for so much. Im more than willing to take the chance to make something come true, than most people would. Things arent hopeless, just some things out of our control prevent the dream from becoming reality. Life then would be complete. For me anyway.

Life was less complicated when we knew less than we did now. it wasnt so burdensome, or challenging. But I understand more now. More of it makes sense to me. And that indeed is important. I see the confusion, and the reasons why you said the things you did.......now. I didnt before, I could only guess.

I will try and make a life out of this oppertunity. I know you are afraid and uncertain. Let me overcome those when the time is right, and you will search no more for anything. I am free, when you are near me and I will do anything to be free again.

Only one person need read this, as it was only for ......her. She knows who she is. She also knows what she means to Me, and Im going to be here. In the shadows. Waiting.

Time cant keep her from me forever.