I couldnt have had a slower day than today, it dragged on forever. I went to work early, worked hard the first few hours, and I mean hard, 3 carry outs for three diffrent customers on the same sled. Now thats busy. Plus it rained all day, and My mind was elsewhere too. I always want to be somewhere else than the place My body is. maybe I daydream too much, or hope for the impossible, but its dreams that keep Me going. And they are always more enjoyable than real life.

Had a call this evening. It seemed all I said, made this person feel worse, but they were afriad to say so, or avoid the question entirely. Not being to change things is one of the hardest things to accept.

I was so tired when I called, and I think thats to blame for it going sour. I want to shoot something, lash out so I will feel better. make someone suffer, as I do. Things always seem to be harder than they need to be. I want things to be simpler, more defined, and less comlicated. To be able to give the things I need to give, and feel like everything is going to be alright. Fuck those who makes things difficult. And to the whore driving someone mad, may she rot from the inside out. May the drone vomiting right now puke his ass into a shallow grave. B, R, and O.....let rocks crush their skulls till the juices cover everything. Poetic isnt it? Of course to the remaining fucknuts giving someone grief.....I will just have to deal with them Myself...in time. So many morons, so little time....