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11:51 a.m. - 2003-08-01

I have insurance.....and absolutely no fucking money.

$300 down payment for LIABILITY! and over a grand for the year....wtf people. I hear stories of people getting full coverage for less than half that amount......on three cars. Why am I condemned to live in a shithole town. With shitholes in it, who make My rates so high I cant afford to live in a shithole? Then of course I need to "search" aka borrow money for registration, another 50 or so dollars I dont have. $250 dollars went to a car payment. And other misc expenses....I am where I started last payday.....in the hole. Isnt working for free great?

What is it about this town which upsets Me you say......I will fill in some details:

My family came here when I was in the 4th elemantary school I went to for 4th grade. Yes....4 schools for 4th grade...I didnt stutter. They knew us kids hated being bounced around....so regardless thereafter we were bussed to school even if we were living over an hour away by car. Its funny being somewhat normal, and riding the "window-licker" bus to school. but instead of being retarded, or handicapped, we were poor kids. And the area this school district resided in was one of the islands poorest and highly populated. So drugs, crime, horrible traffic, and low income were a part of life here. Its been said even people from the city....thats NYC and the surrounding borroughs who refuse to come out here. Interesting.

Its many years later....*does the math* that would be about from 1986 to the present day. 18 years? Almost. Im still here.....living at home after I left the military, why? Cost of living. Despite the low income, rent is still highly inflated. A one bedroom (1) basement apartment, no windows, no utilities....costs on average $1200 a month, with 3 months rent due UP FRONT. Back to math....$1200 times 3....$3600. Few people can afford such amenities on single income. Some work 3 jobs to get an apartment. So I am homebound. Ive considered leaving. But a few things keep me here. One...family. Two.......obligations. I dont run from obligations, I sludge through them as they come. But I love it and hate it here. Its the most expensive ghetto I know of.

Still taking it one day at a time, seems to be the best way. Never being sure of what might be around the corner I wont take unnecessary chances. All I can do is try My best to make something happen, and I am......slowly.

Maybe some goo later....who knows....

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