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10:37 p.m. - 2003-06-03

It sounds like a plan

Im going to rearrange the basement, sweep, clear out the webs, and put in a home gym. I have put it off long enough. Despite a gym membership, I rarely feel like driving to get there. And with the prices of memberships increasing, and gym equipment being reasonable, why bother? The only friend outside of the computer who sees Me pays for My membership, because I train him. So he agreed to the idea as well. And I know just what to get, and where to put it. My only limitation is the damn cieling of all basements. Are shorter than most gyms require. Just means I will have to be very selective with the gear.

Talk of cupcakes, hummingbirds, and spikes aside, the discussion was a deep one. And it brought back old feelings. Ones I try to forget. But Im not mad about it, I need to from time to time look back and say "I survived that".

~takes the pistol from its holster, locks the hammer back, stares into the barrel, seeing the hollowpoint in the light, and squeezes the trigger........~

Life can be over in a millisecond. And we take for granted the good things we have felt, despite thats how we feel. Broken, alone, hurt and lied to. There was good times. If there werent good times, we wouldnt have loved them as strongly as we did. We wouldnt have been so willing to make them a part of our lives. Lies, can kill love. But we cant deny that we did love them truely as we did.....or it wouldnt hurt.

*sucks on a Smirnoff Ice, courtesy of My brother...tastes like lime flavored koolaid*

I think of the possibilities ahead of Me, the open road, and nothing is for certain with a optimisitic view. My life hasnt begun in My mind, and I can do anything. The gym, making friends, working. Who knows what might happen. Nite nite....

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