I am having some serious thought issues. Way too many violent and disturbing images are flowing from My mind to paper. The "painted room" project is one. Things are really beginning to get to Me. I have no outlet, except for right here. It isnt the same. I dont go out anymore. I have no friends. Due to circumstance, I am unable to persue anything which brings me happiness anymore. Life has become a prison cell for My mind.

From the mind there is no escape, no running away, and no ignoring it. Something unpleasant, vile, and destructive might occur if I dont releease the inner demon eating at My insides. Anything. I need to get out. Its raining, maybe drive to a secluded place.....strip to the waist, and kneel in the dirt....letting the rain fall....