I finally got some much needed sleep after 2 restless nights. Maybe it was the early work days but whatever it was, I was a zombie, but that wasnt a stretch as I already look dead. Immnot as distressed about not being paid much as I thought I would, because Im still having somewhat of a good time working there. Its the little miracles I tell ya....

Im still in limbo. My previous entry is still haunting Me.....and My dreams. I sorta cracked when I wrote it, but I had to vent. Past experience has told Me that when I keep things bottled up, it eats at My guts and makes Me feel worse. MMmmmm....My guts taste like chicken.

Oh, I also discovered My hidden needs have caused a horrible disease. When Im talking to a pretty girl..... and she asks for help....I dont shut up. I inadvertedly "extend" My presentations so I can either look at her, smell her perfume, or keep her around longer. OK, Im desperate.....but she always gets My best effort. I dont hit on them....NOOOOOO.....just like having them around. Its the closest I get to anything. Might sound pitiful, but I take what I can get, and run with it. So fuck off.

(decides wether or not to include this little entry)

Alright, I'll do it. If get flack for it, Im closing My diary off. I had the gooeyest damn masterbatory session last night. I mean, it went everywhere in big goopy squirts. Thats what I get for "holding it in" and not making it a normal 3 a day release program. Damn testicles....damn prostate.....and My lonely dick. I blame My hand.....it was coming on to them. It seduced em. That and the pic of a girl in shiney black lycra stockings in My mailbox. *squirt*

All that aside, Im a sick man anyway. Ive admitted it openly. its just hard with no outlet. With the population of the world as big as it is, the odds of someone willing to participate in My sick little world is good, its finding them, and getting them closer......ever so closer.....and maybe blindfolded. (Im shy) Then playtime...MMMmmmmm. I should change the subject.....testicles are getting ideas again.....maybe more later....