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9:42 p.m. - 2003-05-10

Things I find funny:

old jewish women yelling at one another

feminazis

real nazis

My face

the news

people who watch jerry springer

people who try to look cool while eating

flamboyant homosexuals

flamboyant heterosexuals

bitchy women

cranky men

violence on TV

women who can kick a mans ass, and do

men who cant fight

men who try to hit on women

when women shoot said men down

porn

soap operas

squishy toys

tshirts with witty slogans on them

Things I would like to see:

a chinese midget with red hair

strip clubs in fast food restaurants, or vice versa

On to other things......

WHy am I so hard on Myself? Good question, is it perhaps we are our own worst critics? Or.....maybe I just know Myself better than anyone, and when I say something which puts Me down, I mean it. Some might think Im fishing for compliments, when in fact, Im being totally honest. I hate being called a liar, so when I say I crack mirrors, people say liar, or bullshit. As if they have seen Me in person. if I thought I was better, I would probably either be married by now, or a chippendales dancer. So Im a depressed sadist instead. But in terms of My sadism, I actually enjoy My petty torments. And Ive been told Im very good at getting My way, and in playing with people. I just know what buttons to push perhaps....

Now My affinity for violence, in all its many varieties is well known in certain circles. And I cant help but smile when its confirmed. Somehow satisfying that need to be accepted as something. Even if its someone people are afraid of. I wear it as a badge of honor.....I am a sick, perverted sadist..... yeah I love to cuddle, but when Im not cuddling, Im looking for ways to torment others. is that so wrong? hypo, bless that little girl thinks like I do. I could just hug her to pieces. She likes My guns more than I do.....if thats even possible.

So where does this leave Me.... looking back all I see is unfulfilled dreams and ambitions. Things I could be doing, and am not. I watch others around Me, doing things.....and Im jealous of them. Sounds like fuel for a sadist to Me. I can only shoot so many bullets, or write sick perverted stories about random topics for so long.....something has to give.......we will just have to see what that is.....

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